Good Morning Everyone,

The ducks are in our courtyard here at school.  They are loud and distracting and I love their sound!  Chuckling.  It is not a good idea to have them quacking when our students are trying to learn.  Perhaps I can teach the ducks when to be quiet.  Behavior modification! 

I read this principle recently about how to have sustaining, life giving, wonderful relationships.  I decided to share this with all of you.  Who wouldn't want to have a great relationship with everyone in their lives.  Who wouldn't want to know the secret for being able to be compatible with others that you live with, work with, and who you come in contact with, everyday.  I believe that this may be a great resolution to adopt and master....  Let me know what you think!

The  100/0 PRINCIPLE ~ Al Ritter

What is the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships with others? It's The 100/0 Principle: You take full responsibility (the 100) for the relationship, expecting nothing (the 0) in return.

Implementing The 100/0 Principle is not natural for most of us. It takes real commitment to the relationship and a good dose of self-discipline to think, act and give 100 percent.

The 100/0 Principle applies to those people in your life where the relationships are too important to react automatically or judgmentally. Each of us must determine the relationships to which this principle should apply. For most of us, it applies to work associates, customers, suppliers, family and friends.

STEP 1 - Determine what you can do to make the relationship work...then do it. Demonstrate respect and kindness to the other person, whether he/she deserves it or not.

STEP 2 - Do not expect anything in return. Zero, zip, nada.

STEP 3 - Do not allow anything the other person says or does (no matter how annoying!) to affect you. In other words, don't take the bait.

STEP 4 - Be persistent with your graciousness and kindness. Often we give up too soon, especially when others don't respond in kind. Remember to expect nothing in return.

At times (usually few), the relationship can remain challenging, even toxic, despite your 100 percent commitment and self-discipline. When this occurs, you need to avoid being the "Knower" and shift to being the "Learner." Avoid Knower statements/thoughts like "that won't work," "I'm right, you are wrong," "I know it and you don't," "I'll teach you," "that's just the way it is," "I need to tell you what I know," etc.

Instead use Learner statements/thoughts like "Let me find out what is going on and try to understand the situation," "I could be wrong," "I wonder if there is anything of value here," "I wonder if..." etc. In other words, as a Learner, be curious!

Principle Paradox

This may strike you as strange, but here's the paradox: When you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well. Consequently, the 100/0 relationship quickly transforms into something approaching 100/100. When that occurs, true breakthroughs happen for the individuals involved, their teams, their organizations and their families.

I am adopting this principle TODAY!   

And so, my wish for you today is that you have not only a wonderful day, but that you have great relationships with everyone important to you in your life.   You now know the secret to making it happen.

En `Joy,

Marialyce