Good Afternoon,
Today is a beautiful day! I am sitting on my back, screened- in porch and am being visted frequently by my tiny hummingbirds. We have a hanging feeder for our little ones. The hummingbird is truly an amazing little creature, dear, gentle and charming. They are the only bird that can flap its wings in a figure eight while suspended in air. They make my heart sing! The porch is my favorite spot in our home. It is private, the ceiling fan is cooling me and my music is enveloping me. (my auditory sense is my favorite sense.  What is your favorite sense?)

I feel as though I am on vacation, sitting here with the breeze blowing through my hair as I sip my iced tea. All my senses are met. The beautiful birds in my birdbath and flowers in my garden, the sounds of nature and my music, my delicious tea with lemon, and the feel of pen and paper in my hands. Well, at this moment it is the feel of the keyboard beneath my finger tips.
I love words.... Winston Churchill said " Words are the only things that last forever." I love to write and believe that my thoughts, documented in my journal will be a legacy for our daughters, Shawn and Lindsay.

In June of last year, as the school year came to a close, I decided to take the summer months and contemplate life and my place in this world. I was turning 50 in January 2012 and felt the overwhelming need to sit quietly, think and listen to my heart. What was my purpose, my calling in this life. I was having frequent dreams . I was in a huge arena, the place was packed, everyone sat quietly and I saw myself dressed in a beautiful black dress with beautiful jewelry and my favorite 4 inch black stiletto heels. There was a spotlight that was shining on me and I had a microphone in my hand. And then the dream would cut out. Interestingly enough, though, it was recurring. Over and over.... Why, I wondered? On July 30 I had my annual routine mammogram and was subsequently diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Wow! I was thankful for the quiet time that I had taken at the beginning of the summer because I realized that this diagnosis would be life changing. My life would be different from this moment on. But more about that later.

I guess what I want to share at this moment is.... that years prior I was going through a very challenging time raising my children. My heart was heavy and I continually sought answers. During this time a quotation popped into my head. I remember sitting in my friend, Karen Biglin's kitchen and saying to her, I keep thinking of these words.... "You can not be a beacon of light without first experiencing the darkness." I had no idea what those words meant. In time I didn't think of them anymore. But then, in my quietness of last summer and with my diagnosis... the quotation came back to me. "YOU CAN NOT BE A BEACON OF LIGHT WITHOUT FIRST EXPERIENCING THE DARKNESS." I remember thinking, I want to be a beacon of light. I want to be bright in my life, I want to shine, to be happy. I don't want an ordinary life.

Please God, help me to find my way.

When I googled these words, I came to realize that these words, "you can not be a beacon of light....." were mine. I was the author of this quotation. My doctor, Beth DuPree, said Marialyce, this journey that you are on, is not about Breast Cancer. What are you supposed to be doing in your life, with your life. You are being called to your highest intention. Between August 4 and August 24, the day of my bilateral mastectomies, I realized that EVERY SINGLE THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME IN THIS LIFE PREPARED ME FOR THIS MOMENT. I am prepared for all that life presents to me. And so are you, my friend. That is why we have our experiences that are uniquely our own. And so, I decided that I will choose happiness in my life. I will take my time and quietly discern how to accept the challenges that present themselves to me and determine how I will move forward with my days with a smile. And I decided that the way for me to do this, was to be thankful for everything, the good and the not so good because I know that my life is being used for something greater. My first life was magnificent and since 8/24/11 I am living my second best life. My life now is exceptional. It is extraordinary. I am living a life of gratitude and service. I have a friendship with Jesus that is sacred. We are companions on this journey and although I do not have a GPS, navigation system, or a map, I am confident and trust that everything will work out for the best. I am following my heart and intuition and am joyful. Exciting things are happening!

One day, my husband Jim came home from work with the Steve Jobs biography. At that time, I was trying to still find my way on the journey. I remained quiet about my breast cancer, not sharing with my family, friends and coworkers until the end of January 2012. I did not have answers for all the questions that I anticipated. I felt my time was very limited, I had a tremendous amount of work to do, and needed to concentrate on myself, to focus on finding answers to all my questions.

I want to share a synchronistic moment with you.... A blue moment, a moment that took my breath away. On a book mark, tucked inside the book, was a quote from Steve Jobs, from his 2005 Commencement Address at Stanford University.

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." ~ Steve Jobs

I knew in that moment that I was becoming a Beacon of Light. I figured out that I was being called to be an Inspirational Speaker. In March of this past year, I began to speak publicly and in July became a member of the BucksMont Speakers Bureau. I am living my highest intention. I know this because I receive signs that confirm that I am in alignment with my life's calling.

I humbly share this journey with you. I ask God everyday, to please help me get out of my own way. When I do things His way they work out so much better than if I try to navigate my own course. I believe that all of us are guided in life. We just have to listen with an open heart

My wish for you this day.... To have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.

En Joy,
~Marialyce